Nostalgia

Dirk Bogarde, Great Meadow

The name Dirk Bogarde is unlikely to mean much to many people today. Nor did I myself know anything about him until a couple of weeks ago when I happened to come across his book, Great Meadow (1992). I found it, of all places, in on a shelf in my father’s small flat in the old people’s home where he lives. He is 99 years old, a widower, and nearly blind. He had taken it from the library. When he did so, and whether he ever read it, I have no idea.

Bogarde, for those of you who (like me) didn’t know, was born in 1921 to a middle class family in England. Having studied acting, during World War II he served in the British military both in the European and in the Far Eastern theaters. Landing in Normandy with the Allied invasion, he was just preparing to shoot a comrade who had been critically wounded and was begging for the coup de grace when someone else did the job for him. He also visited a Normandy village that he, as a target selector for the Royal Air Force, had helped demolish. There he came across what looked “a whole row” of footballs, only to realize that they were actually the severed heads of dead children. As the war ended he witnessed the liberation of Bergen-Belsen concentration camp and its inmates, many of who were so undernourished that he died soon after. Enough said. Briefly, the war spared him nothing.

During the 1950s and 1960s Bogarde acted in dozens of movies, becoming the sort of star appreciated mainly by middle-aged ladies during their matinées. In the late 1970s he embarked on a second career, producing no fewer than fifteen memoirs, novels, essays, reviews, poetry and collected journalism. Most of them became best sellers. Great Meadow is an account of vacations spent in a rented cottage from 1927 to 1934. Always with his younger sister Elisabeth. And always with their nanny, Lally, who tended to be on the bossy side and did not hesitate to box their ears when necessary. Sometimes with their parents, but sometimes without them as the adults went elsewhere.

Written in first person, the book’s great strength is its ability to evoke times long past. And do so, what is more, through the eyes of a child. Which the author, writing at the age of seventy, was certainly not. A drive, in a bus with an “orange and brown zig-zaggy” carpet on the floor, from London’s Victoria Station to the Sussex Downs close to the sea, where the cottage was located. The cottage which, though without running water, electricity, or heating (except that provided by burning logs), was the most marvelous place on earth. An oasis of peace it was. And of love, which comes through from every word in the book. Never mind that, absent a telephone, Father was always going to the village to make calls (he was a journalist working for The Times). Never mind that, absent drains, people used chamber pots whose contents had to be emptied into a hole in the ground specially dug for the purpose and replaced every few days.

Such disorders should be generic for cialis treated on time then it is definitely curable. Do you experience problems like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, but it was that they decided to end their problem buy cialis with expert involvement. Besides the medicines, plentiful physical exercise, yoga, and meditation assists you to keep your physical and mental health to recommend its patients a best way of levitra canada price preventing a condition like erectile dysfunction. Sex is admitted essential viagra without prescription part of everyone life. Cooking on an oil-fed primus (living near Tel Aviv in the early 1950s, we used to have a couple of them; so tiny were the holes through which the paraffin passed that they always clogged up and had to be cleaned with a special needle so thin you could hardly see it). Beds that had to be warmed with the aid of bricks taken from the oven and wrapped in one of Father’s old shirts. The family cars of which Bogarde Sr. was justifiably proud. Christmas presents one could recognize even before they were opened. Flat meant boring, often a book; lumpy and irregular, something more exciting. The slightly surprising fact that the doctor, called upon in an emergency, was a woman (but visited her patients while wearing a man’s suit).

As I wrote in Clio and Me, at an early age I fell in love with English. Perhaps that is why one of the things I most enjoyed about the book was the language as spoken by people at the time. “Boring” meant annoying. “Rotten” stood for “most unpleasant,” “drat” for “damn.” Country folk in this part of the world said “fathar” when they meant father, “gorn,” when they meant gone. Perhaps most nostalgic of all, the names of products then familiar to practically everyone but gone for so long that few people even remember they once existed. Such as “Essence of Devon Violets.” It was contained in a “titchy little bottle, green glass and quite flat, like a pocket watch. It had an old-fashioned lady with a basket on it. It cost sixpence or a bit more,” and was “just the trick for the sick room, refreshing and dainty.”

Ordinary moments, as when men resting from their work in the fields tied string around their trouser legs so as to prevent the escaping mice and rats from running up their legs. Funny moments, as when Lally mistook the camels of a visiting circus for terrifying monsters and got the fright of her life. “Rotten” ones, as when Dirk’s cat Minnehaha disappeared and the two pet mice he kept, Sat and Sun, died. Also when both Elisabeth and Lally caught scarlet fever, a dangerous disease that, in those pre-antibiotics days, could sometimes be deadly. Or when Father, answering young Dirk’s question as to how far Germany—from where the first Jewish refugees were already beginning to arrive at the time—simply said, “not far enough.”

A few pages before the end of the book, the news arrives that the cottage and the meadow on which it was built are going to be sold. The owner, a Miss (not yet Ms) Aleford, is moving to Vancouver where she has relatives and where there are “lots of opportunities.” For some of the locals it meant disaster and the loss of their livelihood; for the Bogarde family, that there would be no more stays. As young Dirk remarks, all good things come to an end.

But so, to quote my then ten-year old son Eldad, do the bad ones.

Just Published! Hitler in Hell

I, Adolf Hitler, am in Hell, the place to which the victors assign their dead opponents. Not just the dead ones either, but that is a separate topic. Hell, let me tell you, is neither “a dungeon horrible” nor “torture without end” as John Milton, whom I read in German translation after my death, imagined. Far from it! In some ways, it reminds me of Landsberg Prison, where I spent almost all of 1924. The main difference is that here I have no visitors and can receive no presents. That apart, conditions are quite similar. Not luxurious, but for a person like me, one whose material demands are moderate and who has always lived in a fairly austere manner, adequate.

There are no windows, and my spirit, or whatever it is, is not free to leave the compound, if it is one. As a result, I have no idea where it is located or what it looks like from the outside. If, indeed, it has an “outside.” The light, which is artificial and on all the time, never varies. It seems to come from all directions at once, so there are no shadows. And there are no sounds, except for the few we handful of inmates make as, ghost-like, we flutter about. Even those seem to be muffled in a strange, unearthly way. For eight hours out of every twenty-four I am locked in my cell by guardian devils. They never, never answer any questions; but they never do me any harm either. That is more than one can say for many people on earth. At other times I can do much as I please. Who cares? I have no needs, I have no worries, and I have no one to fight. I suppose that accounts for my relatively mellow mood.

The souls I miss the most are those of my shepherd bitch, Blondi, and Frau Eva Braun. As to the former, there seem to be no dogs in Hell. That depresses me a bit, for I have always liked them very much. The scene in a certain film, where I am shown thoughtlessly shooting a little dog just because it was bothering me a little, is based on pure invention. My first dog was a white terrier. I found him in the trenches, where he was chasing a rat. Originally, he had belonged to an English officer and did not understand a word of German. I called him Fuchsl, and he was with me for about a year and a half until someone stole him, causing me much grief. Several others followed. I was proud of them and taught them all sorts of tricks; when asked what young girls do, Blondi, who was the last of the lot, would roll on her back and lift her legs in the air. As to the latter, her most ardent wish had long been for me to marry her. Unfortunately, my duty to my people did not permit us to spend as much time together as I—and even more so she—would have liked. But what if I had done as she wanted? Throughout the war, I lived mainly at my various military headquarters. There, she would have been badly out of place with nothing to do all day long. All around were hundreds of males, many of them starved for sex, who would have stared at her. And gossiped. And sniggered.

I kept in touch with her by a daily telephone call as well as letters. But I saw to it that our correspondence should not fall into the wrong hands. As, for example, Napoleon’s letters to Josephine and the telephone conversations of Prince Charles with his lover Camilla did, thereby revealing their intimate secrets for everyone to enjoy and slaver over. My chief adjutant Julius Schaub, whose loyalty to me dated back to the very first days of the Party, and Eva’s sister Gretl, were a great help in this respect. Shortly before the end of the war Eva defied my wishes for the first and only time. She had her car covered with camouflage paint, left Berchtesgaden, and took us all by surprise by unexpectedly turning up in Berlin, specifically in order to die with me. Doing so was an act of courage and love. At the time, just thinking of her made me happy; it does so still. Poor woman, with my modest needs she never knew what to give me as a present! Where she is, if she is, I have not the faintest clue.

All of us here seem to be staying the same age. We are indestructible. No one ever gets sick; no one ever dies. Nothing ever happens. To understand what a horrible torment that is, one must either have experienced it or have been with Gulliver on his trip to the land of the immortals. I am alive, yet I am dead; I am dead, yet I am alive. The main problem is what to do with my time. That is one very important reason why I decided to write this book. Now as in 1924, the faithful and artless, if sometimes moody, Rudolf Hess is helping me with my work. But there are a couple of differences. When I wrote Mein Kampf, I was still a comparative newcomer to the political scene. Imprisoned, I possessed very few personal documents. That is why much of what I wrote in volume I, which, unlike volume II, is largely autobiographical, had to be based mainly on my memory. Which, let me say, is excellent indeed.

The values collapse still further as a result erection cialis discount canada becomes difficult. Those compounds or peptides that are being price of cialis 10mg researched to examine the benefits even to those who are suffering from severe cases of spinal or joint lesions. All generic cialis mastercard viagra 100mg pills are basically the ads of the “purchase cheap viagra” and range in high cost that people just see them and wish to buy Sildenafil to remedy your penile dysfunction, it is imperative to choose a reputed and reliable online store. How early intervention can improve diagnosis, treatment studies are an important goal for viagra brand 100mg future research (Goodwin et al., 2008). Here in Hell things are very different. To help me keep up with what is happening, I have with me a couple of the world’s leading experts on the Internetz, the so-called “Black Internetz” included. Germans and faithful followers, of course. They are better than those two mavericks, Julian Assange and Edward Snowden, combined! They provide me with access to everything. Meaning absolutely everything that has ever been written, filmed, recorded, videotaped, or whatever, right down to the present time. With the result that they can help me document my life and times much more thoroughly and much more faithfully than I could then.

So vast is the inflow of material that mastering it all might actually fill the unlimited time I have stretching out in front of me. More, much more, keeps being added day by day. There are books about my youth, books about my women, books about my alleged mental and physical diseases, books about the movies I did and did not like, books about the medicines I took, and books about my headquarters and my performance as a military commander. There is even a book about how hard it is to write anything new about me! Not to mention an avalanche of books (and TV programs) about my alleged escape to South America after the war. I am told that, when I started working on this project in the spring of 2015, on Google I had about a hundred million “hits.” Stalin only had thirty-three million; Mao Zedong, a paltry million.

But there is also another more important reason why I write. History, Schopenhauer said, is as riddled with lies as the body of a prostitute with syphilis. In this volume I am determined to tell my side of the story, set the record straight, and get even with my enemies—both my contemporaries and those who fed on my legend later on. And, on the way, I will put that bunch of feckless liars, meaning the countless “historians” who have done their best to present me as the worst monster in the whole of human memory, to shame. I shall beat them into a pudding, as Goebbels used to say. Doing so is my duty and my right. After all, isn’t that what people occupying positions similar to mine have always done? Think of Julius Caesar, whose memoirs schoolchildren are being made to study right down to the present day. Or of that lying drunk, Winston Churchill. He even got a Nobel Prize for his efforts.

Finally, all my life I have believed in the “unconquerable will” (Milton again). Though I may be in Hell, “to bow and sue for grace, with suppliant knee”—that glory my enemies will never extort from me. “For the mind and spirit remains invincible.” Down to the last breath I took, I gave my all fighting on behalf of the German people. Since then, I am told, there has come into being something called Godwin’s Law. Meaning that, the longer two people argue, the more inevitable it is that at least one of them should call the other “Hitler.” Countless lesser folks apart, those to whom my name has been (miss)applied include Egypt’s President Gamal Abdul Nasser, Soviet President Nikolai Bulganin, Iraq’s dictator Saddam Hussein, Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (known, in his own country, as “The Monkey”), Russia’s President Vladimir Putin, America’s President Donald Trump… Reductio ad Hitlerum, one might say. The Israelis, who always claim to have a corner on suffering, especially like to play this game. I am, however, gratified that their enemies have caught on and are using the same tactics against them, as, for example, when someone calls a chatterbox like Prime Minister Netanyahu “Hitler.” They wish they had just one percent of my stature. Each and every one of them.

Unfortunately, there is no way we here in Hell can contact those we have left behind. Thus pushing the latter in the right direction appears out of the question for the time being. But I am not about to throw in the towel. Not me! Ever since the first humans started walking the earth, they have always tried the most varied methods to get in touch with the dead and to learn what they have to say. There now exists a whole branch of science, if that is the word, whose aim is to do just that. You may be certain that, if and when the time comes, my voice will be heard. Loud and clear.”