Dear Doctor Freud

Dear Doctor Freud:

 I hope this letter reaches you, wherever you may be. Also that you are feeling well and that your circumstances are sufficiently comfortable to enable you to read it, in case you feel like doing so.

Please allow me to say a few words a bout myself. I was born in 1946, just seven years after your death. Like you, I am a secular-minded Jew. Unlike you, I have spent practically all my life in Israel,a country which, in your day, did not yet exist. By profession I am a historian. You and I have something in common: both of us have spent much o four lives trying to understand how individuals and societies function. Albeit we have approached the problem from different angles, in different ways, and using different methodologies.

Originally I was a military historian (a field,incidentally, that was taught in very few, if any, universities in our time). But over the last twenty years I have taken a strong interest in feminism and women’s history; after all, starting at least as far back as the Odyssey, Mars and Venus have always got along quite nicely. I would go so far as to argue that, without women to support warriors and admire them and look after them and mourn them and open their arms to them after their return from the battlefield,there would have been no war. After all, what is the point?

It was against this background that I came across your famous question, “was will das Weib,” what does a woman want. It bothered me, as it did you. For whatever it may be worth, I want to provide you with my own private attempt to answer it.

First, women want to love and be loved. As well as respected, admired, and, yes, even worshiped. Don’t we all?

Second, women want to be treated equally with men. In other words, to have the kind of relationship with them that will enable people of both sexes to work in harmony towards a common goal; including, above all, raising a family and leading the good life. At the same time, though, they want to be treated as women. Meaning, with the kind of special consideration they believe, in my opinion rightly, that the fact that they are the mothers of the race as well as their relative physical vulnerability entitles them to.

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Third, women want a man to defend them. When everything is said and done, only men can protect a woman against other men.Partly that is because men are physically stronger on the average. And partly,many students (those who have not yet been silenced for being “misogynic”)believe, because their hormones tend to make them more aggressive.  Either way, and if only in order to enable them to fulfill their biological destiny, women must be protected against the full harshness of life. Didn’t you once tell you fiancé and subsequent wife,Martha Bernays, that the best thing a woman can do for herself is to take shelter in the home of a man?

Fourth, there is the vexed question of penis envy. If I have understood you correctly, you believe that it is something women are born with and which seizes them from the moment they understand, at a tender age, that they do not have a penis. I must say I am not sure I follow you here. Instead, I am open to Karen Horney’s idea that the reason why women suffer from penis envy—and they do!—is because the penis symbolizes all the advantages men enjoy in society. It is, so to speak, a shortcut to every thing else.

Finally, as you have said and written many times, every woman, if she is a real woman and not some kind of abomination, wants a child with all her heart. As the Biblical Rachel told her husband Jacob,“give me sons, or else I die.”

I would think that each of these desires on its own is straightforward enough. However, together they are anything but. Some of them women have in common with men, whereas others are theirs alone. Some overlap,whereas others contradict each other. Some are rooted in biology, others not. Since their relative importance changes from one person to another as well as overtime, they are also fluid. Age, upbringing, social circumstances, etc. intrude on the psyche, with the result that the number of possible variations is infinite.No two women, and no two men, are the same! That is precisely what makes the topic endlessly complex—and, as the art of all times and places shows,endlessly fascinating as well.

But whom am I telling all this? I do hope you won’t resent the musings of an old historian (I am as old as you were in 1929,the year in which you wrote Civilization and Its Discontents). As my excuse for sending you this letter, all I can say that I am as interested in the problem as you used to be and, perhaps, still are.

With deep gratitude for all your pioneering works

Martin van Creveld


Inspiration

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My oldest grandson, Orr (Light, in Hebrew) is fifteen years old. Perhaps because he has always seen me at work, for as long as I remember him—and longer than he can remember himself—he has sought to join me by writing a book of his own. I suppose that is why, a few days ago, he came up with what was perhaps the most difficult question I have ever been asked during my seventy-two years. Grandpa, he said, can you tell me what inspiration is?

I must say I was stunned. Having recovered somewhat, I did my best to find an answer. The following is what I came up with.

1. Inspiration is that which enables you to draw a picture, or write a book, or compose music, or design an experiment, or formulate a new equation, or plan. Without it, neither can you start working nor is there much point in doing so. Still that should not keep you from trying.Inspiration on its own is not enough; what you need, in addition, is hard work.

2. Inspiration can come either from outside or from inside. In the former case, which was mostly the case with me, it is called by its proper name. As, for example, when Homer in the famous first line of the Iliad calls on the Muse to help him in his self-imposed task. The idea of inspiration as a divine gift is several thousand years old. By contrast, inspiration that comes from within, known as creativity, only became at all important from about 1920 on. Currently, Ngram tells me, the two words are engaged on a neck-to-neck race as to which one is used more frequently.

3. Both inspiration and creativity have always been, and still remain, phenomena that take the soul by storm, so to speak.Neither can be brought on by force; in my experience, trying to do so will only result in nausea. Both inspiration and creativity often come, or perhaps I should say bubble up, from the most unexpected quarters. The following is a story that will clarify the matter. Back in the spring of 1937 Pablo Picasso, a Spanish painter living in self-imposed Parisian exile, was fifty-six years old and in a funk; vainly looking for inspiration for a painting he had undertaken to do on for an exhibition on twentieth-century technological progress. Like most people, he learnt the details of the German bombardment of Guernica from the media. It shook him awake. The outcome? What some consider the most famous painting done during the entire twentieth century.

4. Subjectively speaking, being caught up by the whirlwind that is inspiration/creativity is one of the most wonderful emotions one can experience. Quite as wonderful as, say, the joy of listening to a good piece of music, or looking at a good painting, or love, or sex at its best. Being seized with it makes one eager to sing and dance over hill and dale.It can even get to the point where the joy becomes altogether unbearable. However,for good or ill it does not last. Normally for each moment of ecstasy there is one of agony or depression. To go through the cycle without going insane—that is a challenge countless inspired/creative people have faced, not seldom without success.

I hope have I made myself clear.  In case I have not, here is what Nietzsche, in my view one of the most inspired men that have ever lived and one of the very few who was both a philosopher and a great poet, has to say about the matter (Ecce Homo, chapter “Thus Spoke “Zarathustra,” section 3, trans. by R. J. Hollingdale):

“Has anyone at the end of the nineteenth century a distinct conception of what poets of strong ages called inspiration?If not, I will describe it. – If one had the slightest residue of superstition left in one, one would hardly be able to set aside the idea that one is merely incarnation, merely mouthpiece, merely medium of overwhelming forces. The concept of revelation, in the sense that something suddenly, with unspeakable certainty and subtlety, becomes visible, audible, something that shakes and overturns one to the depths, simply describes the fact. One hears, one does not seek; one takes, one does not ask who lives; a thought flashes up like lightening, with necessity, unfalteringly formed—I have never had any choice. An ecstasy whose tremendous tension sometimes discharges itself a flood of tears, while one’s steps now involuntarily rush along, now involuntarily lag; a complete being outside of oneself with the distinct consciousness of a multitude of subtle shudders and trickles down to one’s toes; a depth of happiness in which the most painful and gloomy things appear, not as an antithesis, but as conditioned, demanded, as a necessary color within such a superfluity of light; an instinct for rhythmical relationships which spans forms of wide extent—length, the need for a wide-spanned rhythm is almost the measure of the force of inspiration, ma kind of compensation for its pressure and tension… Everything is in the highest degree involuntary, but takes place as in a tempest of a feeling of freedom, of absoluteness, of power, of divinity… The involuntary nature of image, of metaphors, is the most remarkable thing of all;one no longer has any idea what is image, what metaphor, everything presents itself as the readiest, the truest, the simplest means of expression. It really does seem, to allude to a saying of Zarathustra’s, as if the things themselves approached and offered themselves as metaphors… This is my experience of inspiration,”

Note that having written all this, Nietzsche still does not tell us what inspiration is. Only what it feels like. The same applies to me. Anyhow. Thanks, my dearly beloved Orr, for making me think.

Once Upon a Time We Had a Little Poodle

Once upon a time we had a little poodle. Very much like the one in the pic, incidentally. He came to us on his own accord—we neither bought him nor got him from anyone else. Later we learnt he had been dumped. As a result, he always remained a little reluctant to get into a car (on the way out, not the return journey). I first met him when he joined me on my walks with our bitch, Sandy. When I returned home and shut the gate after me he would look at me with his dog’s eyes. I just could not stand it; so we took him in. So neglected was he that we only found out he was a poodle after he had been properly trimmed and cleaned. We called him Poonch and he was with us for about ten years during which we loved him very much. In the end he got cancer and suffered terribly. Even as the vet put him to sleep in Dvora’s arms, he licked her hand for the last time.

Like all poodles, Poonch was clever and quick on the ball. However, he had a problem. Perhaps being aware of small size, he was afraid of large dogs. Being afraid of large dogs, he regularly barked at them and sometimes attacked them. As a result he got what you would expect and what, in fact, he deserved. Twice he was almost bitten to death. But he seemed never to learn.

And why am I telling you about this? Because it reminds me of the foolishness of some feminists. By all means get furious at me, but let me explain first. Nature has made men considerably stronger, physically, than women. Thanks in part to the military, which in its attempts to understand what women can and cannot do in its ranks has been studying the issue for decades, the details have been worked out quite precisely. But is such study really necessary? There are some things that the dumbest person on earth knows, or at any rate should know, without ever having attended school.

An American friend of mine keeps telling me that men are being pushed to the wall by women. Primarily, but of course not only, in the United States. Women, he says, are surpassing men in terms of education and professional achievement. And, perhaps most important of all, their ability to present themselves as victims. Not only does criminal law discriminate in their favor—in some ways it has done so ever since the world began. But for a man to win a suit against a woman has become difficult, sometimes all but impossible. He even sent me an article, “How to Prepare Our Sons for Matriarchy,” by one Jenny Hoople—Jenny who?—at the “Good Men Project.”

As Poonch’s injuries showed, the combination of superior physical strength with the feeling that one is under attack is as dangerous as dangerous can be. Not just any psychologist but any ten-year old can tell you that. Unfortunately, I fear, the outcome will be that more and more women are going to get killed by men. Especially men whom they know and who may very well have loved them at one point or another.

The following headlines seem to confirm my guess.

1. https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/full/10.1089/vio.2017.0016

“Although the prevalence of intimate partner homicide in the late 1970s was similar for men and women, the number of male victims has steadily declined ever since… In contrast, female intimate partner homicides actually increased up until the early 1990s before experiencing a far modest decline.”

2. Garen Wintemute et al., “Increased Risk of Intimate Partner Homicide Among California Women Who Purchased Handguns,” Annals of Emergency Medicine 41, no. 2 (2003): 282.

“The results of a California analysis show that “purchasing a handgun provides no protection against homicide among women and is associated with an increase in their risk for intimate partner homicide.”

3. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/dec/14/mexico-murders-women-rise-sharply-drug-war-intensifies

“Of the 52,210 killings of women recorded over the 32-year period, nearly a third took place in the last six years, the report said.”

4. https://www.ozy.com/acumen/why-are-so-many-women-being-killed-in-rich-countries/83636

Seven countries with high GDPs and low rates of violence saw equal or greater numbers of women being killed than men in 2016: Austria, Germany, Belgium, Japan, Slovenia, South Korea and Switzerland.
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5. https://www.sanews.gov.za/south-africa/gender-based-violence-rise,

“Femicide is on the rise in South Africa, with Statistics South Africa reporting that the murder rate for women increased drastically by 117% between 2015 and 2016/17.”

6. https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/growing-epidemic-of-femicide-and-impunity/

“Femicide is practically an epidemic throughout the world.”

7. http://time.com/3670126/femicides-turkey-women-murders/

“Karen Ingala Smith, chief executive of British anti-violence organization nia, has been keeping track of all women killed by men (all men–not just current or former partners). On her blog, Counting Dead Women, she’s tallied up 126 women killed by men in 2012, 144 in 2013, and 148 in 2014.”

8. https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2017/03/murdered-women-spain-tackles-femicide-rates-170319132509999.html.

“Women are protesting as rates of violence against them rise, [in Spain].” 

9. https://elpais.com/elpais/2016/04/01/inenglish/1459514254_172242.html

“With one femicide every 30 hours, gender violence on rise in Argentina”

10.   https://unstats.un.org/unsd/gender/mexico_nov2014/Session%203%20UNODC%20ppt.pdf

“[In six European countries] decline of females’ homicide rates slower than males.”

I can already hear the shrill shrieks. Feminists claiming, as they so often do, that it is all a question of blaming the victim. I can see their point. But shouldn’t potential victims try to be a little smarter than poor Poonch, bless his soul, used to be?